Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Ya-Ya Wedding Week recaps, part 2.
10.06.2010
So, the first thing I learned about weddings is a pretty big one: the wedding is this beautiful crest of love and happiness and emotion, and you're at the top of the wave.
Which means you have to come down somewhere.
It's only natural, really, with the levels of sleep deprivation, adrenaline, cortisone, and family antics at play in getting married. But I wasn't at all prepared, and you might not be, either. At least you'll be forewarned. (Remember, I am telling the truth on this blog, even if it gets ugly.)
I remember reading A Cupcake Wedding's post awhile ago about Accepting the Bad stuff that happened on her day. I remember thinking oh no, things went really wrong. And I remember trying to write a comment about how I'm sure it was all just fine, even if people were staring or the DJ was a loser or it didn't feel romantic. She was talking about big, big things that went wrong for her. And she ended the post with "I know this is all so silly...I really did love the wedding."
Well, you're not silly, darling Cupcake Wedding. I want to tell you that nothing so major went wrong on our day, but the little things that did really upset me. And they're pretty minor, mostly. The venue promised a vegan meal to one of my bridesmaids, but didn't provide it, so she had to leave right after dinner to go find something to eat. I forgot to give a list to the florist, so the boutonnieres were all mixed up. Someone ignored my express instructions and helpful diagram with written directions and seated the head table Last Supper-style,* with the best man and maid of honor on the wrong sides. Apparently, they ran out of toasting champagne, because He-Mouse and I were served cider. And everybody ate the do-nuts before it was time to eat the do-nuts.**
During the wedding, riding that beautiful wave of love, these things didn't bother me at all. Nor did the blues kick in the day after the wedding, when I was basically walking around like a zombie--two and a half hours of sleep, because we woke up at five full of adrenaline and saying OKAY NOW WHAT DO WE HAVE TO DO and also really hungover.*** No, the day after was just about brunch and hugging my mom and hopping a flight to the wonderful honeymoon.
It hit me like a sledgehammer to the stomach on Monday, soon after I woke up. These little tiny mishaps came with mountain-sized feelings of grief and loss. I was an emotional roller coaster for days--giddy and delighted at the first round of photos posted to Facebook, and then, suddenly, freaking out and asking He-Mouse to reassure me that my hair didn't look silly.
The lesson here is not only that Things Will Go Wrong, as Bride in Exile so eloquently argued. They will go wrong, and you can choose not to dwell on them, just like she said. But there is also a lesson in emotional preparation. Be ready to come off the wave. Because when you do, you might want to have arranged to be with your new Huz, in a beautiful place, with the offenders far away, so that when you sob and hiccup "Whaaat...if...the...toasts...don't...come...true...because...we...didn't...have...champaaaaagne!" he can hug you (patting you on the head in a terrified, what-is-going-on-here kind of way) and you can wait together for the blues to go away.
It is possible that this is part of the function of the honeymoon.
And also, just so you know, the farther you get from the wedding, the less these things matter. I'm a week and change out, and most of it doesn't bug me anymore. Being home helps. Here, the wedding is a great party we threw to kick off our married life, but oh, the married life is already so much sweeter than the wedding.
* Which I HATE.
** This last one didn't bother me at all, actually, but it had Mama Mouse and bridesmaids basically running laps around the table and forcibly removing do-nuts from people's hands.
*** What happened is that I had, like, three sips of wine over the course of the entire wedding, and then had two or three glasses in the last half hour. On an empty stomach. Whoops.
Clik here to view.
Ya-Ya Wedding Week recaps, part 2.10.06.2010
So, the first thing I learned about weddings is a pretty big one: the wedding is this beautiful crest of love and happiness and emotion, and you're at the top of the wave.
Which means you have to come down somewhere.
It's only natural, really, with the levels of sleep deprivation, adrenaline, cortisone, and family antics at play in getting married. But I wasn't at all prepared, and you might not be, either. At least you'll be forewarned. (Remember, I am telling the truth on this blog, even if it gets ugly.)
I remember reading A Cupcake Wedding's post awhile ago about Accepting the Bad stuff that happened on her day. I remember thinking oh no, things went really wrong. And I remember trying to write a comment about how I'm sure it was all just fine, even if people were staring or the DJ was a loser or it didn't feel romantic. She was talking about big, big things that went wrong for her. And she ended the post with "I know this is all so silly...I really did love the wedding."
Well, you're not silly, darling Cupcake Wedding. I want to tell you that nothing so major went wrong on our day, but the little things that did really upset me. And they're pretty minor, mostly. The venue promised a vegan meal to one of my bridesmaids, but didn't provide it, so she had to leave right after dinner to go find something to eat. I forgot to give a list to the florist, so the boutonnieres were all mixed up. Someone ignored my express instructions and helpful diagram with written directions and seated the head table Last Supper-style,* with the best man and maid of honor on the wrong sides. Apparently, they ran out of toasting champagne, because He-Mouse and I were served cider. And everybody ate the do-nuts before it was time to eat the do-nuts.**
During the wedding, riding that beautiful wave of love, these things didn't bother me at all. Nor did the blues kick in the day after the wedding, when I was basically walking around like a zombie--two and a half hours of sleep, because we woke up at five full of adrenaline and saying OKAY NOW WHAT DO WE HAVE TO DO and also really hungover.*** No, the day after was just about brunch and hugging my mom and hopping a flight to the wonderful honeymoon.
It hit me like a sledgehammer to the stomach on Monday, soon after I woke up. These little tiny mishaps came with mountain-sized feelings of grief and loss. I was an emotional roller coaster for days--giddy and delighted at the first round of photos posted to Facebook, and then, suddenly, freaking out and asking He-Mouse to reassure me that my hair didn't look silly.
The lesson here is not only that Things Will Go Wrong, as Bride in Exile so eloquently argued. They will go wrong, and you can choose not to dwell on them, just like she said. But there is also a lesson in emotional preparation. Be ready to come off the wave. Because when you do, you might want to have arranged to be with your new Huz, in a beautiful place, with the offenders far away, so that when you sob and hiccup "Whaaat...if...the...toasts...don't...come...true...because...we...didn't...have...champaaaaagne!" he can hug you (patting you on the head in a terrified, what-is-going-on-here kind of way) and you can wait together for the blues to go away.
It is possible that this is part of the function of the honeymoon.
And also, just so you know, the farther you get from the wedding, the less these things matter. I'm a week and change out, and most of it doesn't bug me anymore. Being home helps. Here, the wedding is a great party we threw to kick off our married life, but oh, the married life is already so much sweeter than the wedding.
* Which I HATE.
** This last one didn't bother me at all, actually, but it had Mama Mouse and bridesmaids basically running laps around the table and forcibly removing do-nuts from people's hands.
*** What happened is that I had, like, three sips of wine over the course of the entire wedding, and then had two or three glasses in the last half hour. On an empty stomach. Whoops.