So, I haven't been blogging because I am THAT MAD about how hard it is to change your name back once you've already gotten married. My legal name now is Mouse Mylast Hislast, which I am trying to change to Mouse Hislast Mylast. Here's what has happened since my last post about this:1) Paid $200 to file petition to change my name in New Jersey. I assume this money is going to buy Snooki something.
2) Paid $36 to publish notice of name change, which was worded like this: "Mouse Mylast Hislast has petitioned the court to change her name to Mouse Hislast Mylast" and a thing about turning up in court if you have any problem with this. Who could POSSIBLY have any problem with this?
3) I will tell you who: the New Jersey DMV. On your Driver's License, these are your options:
Mouse Hislast
Mouse M. Hislast
Mouse Mylasthislast
Mouse Mylast-Hislast.
NONE OF WHICH ARE MY LEGAL NAME NOW. I argued with them for a good 15 minutes, but "our software just won't accommodate two last names. It's so unusual." It did not help that this was a snotty man saying it. I left the DMV feeling like he had stolen my name.
4) I will tell you who ELSE: the Department of Homeland Security. My airplane tickets now say Mouse Mylasthislast, because like the New Jersey DMV, they do not have software to accomodate two last names. I should've put "Mylast" as "Middle name," but it ISN'T my midde name. Cue Irate TSA Guy.
Irate TSA Guy: Your ticket doesn't match your federally issued photo ID. (Vein popping out of his neck)
Mouse: Yes, sir. That's because the New Jersey system does not allow two last names in their software, and the airline software smushes the two last names into one name. Here's my credit card. You can see that my name is Mouse Mylast Hislast.
ITG: BUT IT DOESN'T MATCH!!! (ROAR)
Mouse: Yes, sir. But I entered my legal name in each of these circumstances, and this is the identification issued to me from that legal name.
ITG: IF YOU WERE TRAVELING INTERNATIONALLY WE WOULDN'T EVEN LET YOU OUT OF THE COUNTRY! RAAAAAAAWR!
4) I DID get on the plane after all of this, and when I came home, they assigned me two name-change court dates:
a. Ya-Ya's wedding day (of course)
b. Day of really important professional engagement occurring out of town.
5) Filed change of venue motion thing and now the court case is going to the county where I actually live, where hopefully it gets a new court date. Or not. If not, I go back to the beginning and pay another $30.
Moral of the story: if you aren't sure about changing your name, JUST WAIT. You have a whole year to decide. And waiting beats bullshit.